The plan: A small project to keep my hands busy while Dad underwent a medical procedure. The yarn: Leftovers from the Eye of the Emerald Mandala. The hook: A plastic one, because you have to go through metal detectors when entering this hospital, and I just don't want the extra trouble. Scheduled arrival time: 10:30. Time when patient was actually called back for surgery: 14:00. Time when I finally saw my dad again: 20:30. That small crochet project: Much bigger than originally planned.
The idea I had in mind was to make something for the new cat running... oh, sorry, I meant to say at Dad's house. They said the procedure would take about an hour, so I was thinking small, like another cat toy. But as I was working in the round, that plastic hook kept splitting the yarn. Growing frustrated as time stretched on longer than planned, I unraveled my work and started working a mindless row of foundation stitches.
I don't know the reason, but the yarn splitting stopped when I changed to rows instead of rounds. (Tension? Yes.) Realizing I probably had enough yarn to make a small blanket, I committed to the idea and got serious about a pattern. Alternating rows of single and half-double crochet stitches, with a color change at four rows for white, two rows for green. A simple and mindless rectangle that would keep my head distracted and my hands busy. I still managed to work in an error that bungled the whole blanket.
Luckily, Booker doesn't seem to mind the mistake. And for once, I'm giving myself some grace and will refuse to care that it isn't perfect. With respect to Dad's privacy, we'll just say that things didn't go right, so his stay in the hospital was longer than expected. I was exhausted while working on this project.
Every day was a blur of traveling to Dad's house to pick up the paper (and cater to the cat's demands), then to the hospital. Check on Dad, update family, beg dismissive nurses and doctors to pay more attention and please do something because I knew something was very wrong with my dad. They never took me seriously, even as his condition worsened.
Each day, spending more time than I probably should have at the hospital, then back to Dad's to get the mail (and be complained at by the cat). Back home to feed my own cats and husband, do dishes... laundry... shower... Wait, did I pay that bill that's due? By day three, Rip van Winkle actually made me some food for once. Well, he stopped and bought food, but he provided.
My point is that my mistake was understandable, considering the conditions. I just wish I could understand how this error occurred, because the answer is lost somewhere in my brain fog. FYI: After the conclusion of the saga of Dad's recovery, Rip van Winkle went and had a heart attack, so my mind might be permanently clouded over at this point.
This will continue to bother me until I figure out how this happened (the crooked edge, not the heart attack). I know what caused the wavy edge of this blanket, but I feel so dumb that I can NOT figure out how the mistake is... a mistake. I was working into the first space of the rows to avoid having to pick up the turning chain at the end of the row. This makes a square have a bit of a bias, but I usually straighten that out with a border. In the fifth stripe of white, I bound off one row early. So now we have a row of half-double crochet, then single crochet, then half-double again...
Not noticing that I had stopped a row short, I started the next color with half-double, and the following row is single crochet. And now somehow the bias is running in the opposite direction? No, surely I skipped a stitch somewhere. (Checking again and again...) How? Why? You probably skipped or added a stitch, but you're too tired to find it. Again, it's just a blanket for a cat. Move on.
He loved the feel of the yarn so much that he couldn't stop feeling the yarn. Every time I tried to get a picture of his expression (you know, to see what he thinks), he would need to roll over on his other side so it could feel the yarn, too. Both sides finally had enough of feeling the yarn once I put the camera down.
Booker's next priority was the durability test. Excuse me, was this cat a fiber artist in a past life? Checking to see if the yarn will pill or felt... stretching the fabric to check for negative or positive ease... This "cat" seems to know some of the workings of the industry. Are we sure he's not a spy sent to steal my works in progress? What's next?
Is he adding moisture to check if the dye is fixed? Okay, no, he's just chewing on it. The moment may be over, but my suspicions will remain. Being "a cat" after all, he quickly grew bored of the new blanket and went to get comfortable in his place on the couch.
Thinking he would like to be tucked in with the new blanket, I helped him get comfy for his nap. I was wrong. Bandages were needed after this photo. It was worth it.
Happy Crocheting!
P.S. He accepted the blanket after all. You can't expect a cat to appreciate something new. They need time to evaluate and judge. At least he didn't do what Wild did to poor Milton the Rat.
P.P.S. Dad is alive and well, no thanks to that hospital. He and Booker are back to enjoying afternoons on the porch and evenings watching Wheel of Fortune.
Rip van Winkle is alive and... well... I could fill a blog post with the number of times I have told this damn neanderthal that one simply cannot exist for long on Mountain Dew, cigarettes and Walmart pies. I have tried to cook healthy meals for him, but he smothers them in butter or gravy. Pushes the vegetables to the side. Steals the fat I cut off my meat from my plate. And I've always been the nagging wife, trying to stop him from "having a good time". A common phrase used is "you just don't know what's good for you."
So, if you'll please excuse me while I scream into the void...
Now the "nagging wife" has to be the nurse, trying to explain why, no, you can't have more ice cream, because you weren't supposed to have any to begin with! Do you know what it means when your triglyceride levels are over 600? I don't know what's a good score, but I know this level earns you this trophy they called a stent, and now you get to carry a special card around in your wallet! And what is stage 3 kidney failure exactly? It means NO MORE Mountain Dew!
*Deep breaths, baby steps, he's learning*
No, you can't have another Jell-o cup, either... because that's more sugar... just because the doctor said no more Mountain Dew doesn't mean you can have as much other sugar as you want... "fruit flavored drink" is also just sugar water... no, even real fruit juice counts as sugar... I said you could have that in moderation, what do you mean you ate the whole bag/box/bowl???
Go check your blood pressure (3x a day)... Remember to weigh yourself (2x a day)... Drink water... Don't forget to get up and walk around at least twice a day... Check the serving size... Did you take your pill after you ate? No, the one you take in the evening... no, the other one... That has too much salt in it for you... That has too much potassium in it... No, potassium is not good for you when you have kidney damage. There's a warning about it on one of your meds.
Ha! Don't I sound so much more like a nagging wife now? I seriously can't stand to hear myself anymore, because it sounds like all I'm doing is nagging. But NOW somehow it's help, and I have to keep helping, because now you need me? Have you considered learning how to take care of yourself? Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me, now I'm nagging again.
Please wish me sweet dreams of drifting lazily through a yarn store, with plenty of time to stop and feel every single yarn available. I hope to get four hours of sleep before he's raiding the kitchen again.
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