Tuesday, March 22, 2016

RIP Tater Salad

  I told you it was coming soon... Yesterday, March 21, 2016 - So here I am, once again, bawling like a crazy woman out in my yard. Tater would have been 9 years old in May of this year. He collapsed in the hallway the night before, and when I tried to get him outside in the morning, he collapsed on me. The Other Half took the day off of work, and we started making phone calls.

dogs, death, pets

  In his lifetime, he destroyed two doorknobs, an entire wall, every windowsill in the house, an armchair, and the ego of every person that thought they could walk in our yard. The biggest dog cage they sold wouldn't hold him. Two parts Boxer and Dalmation, one part Great Dane... And 150% sloberfest.

  He was a living terror, but he was still my doggy best friend. He broke my toe at least three times, bit me a few, and dislocated my shoulder once. The last thing he broke was my heart. Well over 100 pounds, we couldn't get him in the car even with three people. It took a livestock vet to come out and take care of him, so we sat with him all day under an umbrella to keep him shady until they made it. It took the neighbor and a tractor to create his final resting place.

  So today I'm sore of body, mind, and heart. The only comfort I can find is that I know he hadn't slept in days... I know because I've been right there with him the whole time. At least he can finally get some rest. I feel like I never will. It helps that The Kid is home on Spring Break - She's a cat person and completely unaffected by the loss, so life goes on with her around.

  And jeez, can it get more depressing? I lost my grandma last week, too, but after surviving a stroke and nearing 100 it was something we were all somewhat prepared for - As much as you ever can be for losing someone. It's just the two losses back to back that now has me stretched thin and worn down.

  Unless things manage to look brighter for some grand reason, I don't think I can continue to blog or crochet this week. I don't know, maybe The Kid and I can work on that giant plarn project... But I just don't feel like doing anything right now other than trying to rest - And perhaps a ton of cleaning, because every time I turn a corner and find something of his I break out in sobs again.

  The Beginner's Series of tutorials and all patterns are on a temporay hold, and I'll try but I'm not sure if I'll be participating in any of the usual Link Parties. We'll see, maybe some distraction now and some work after a few days will help. I know I have my beginners waiting for that pattern/tutorial I promised, so I'll see if I can at least work on the finishing touches and get it up by the start of next week.

  Thanks for listening. I don't have anyone that I can really share my grief with, so I'm sorry I dumped it all on you. Some of you awesome people come looking for me when I'm not active on the blog, which is cool. I just wanted to let everybody know what's going on, so you don't think I fell off the face of the earth or anything.

I truly wish you Happy Crocheting as always, I just don't have the energy to put it all in bold letters and add that happy exclamation point. If you have a dog, and especially if he's a giant slobbering mutt, give him a hug for me today. It's not fair that they don't live as long as us.


  1. Oh, honey, bless your heart. And I don't mean that in the snarky way that we Southern women sometimes use the phrase. I truly hope your heart is blessed with ease, comfort and peace. As I was in the midst of taking care of my father in-law at home as he lay dying of pancreatic cancer, my daughter's dog of 13 years (my granddog) died. Everyone was elsewhere when he collapsed on the back porch trying to get down the steps to go pee in the yard. I couldn't pick him up (70 pounds) and he had collapsed going down the first step and I sat there with my shoulder wedged under his upper body so he could breath. That's how my husband found us when he got home, me sitting with the Boss hanging on my shoulder and crying like a baby. He picked him up, got him inside and comfortable and I slept on the floor with him that night and my husband stayed with his dad. My daughter came back from her trip, I went back to my father in-law and the Boss died 24 hours later. My father in-law died 10 days later.

    The Boss was a bad dog. He was an unparalleled escape artist. There wasn't a crate, cage, chain link or wooden fence that could hold him......he chewed through them all. Broke every chain we ever put on him. He chewed through a wooden door, ate the side of my antique sofa, destroyed more panties and brassieres than I can count.... you get the picture, right? But he was also the world's best snuggle bunny, a silly clown who could make you laugh so hard that you'd snort coffee thru your nose and a wonderful companion.

    It took me the better part of a year to get myself back to normal. Take your time. The world will wait. Anyone who has lost a beloved human and a beloved furry friend back to back understands your grief. Bless your heart, dear one.

    1. Thank you so much, Kim, and bless you too. I don't know what it is about the big and bad ones, but they have a special character that leaves holes in our hearts as big as the ones in our walls. Life just won't be the same for awhile.

  2. So sorry about your pup. It's so hard-I lost mine in January. I just recently have reached the point where my heart doesn't hurt when I see his photo. Prayers for you.

    1. Thank you Donna. My heart goes out to you for your loss, too. I know what you mean about the photos; I have to keep my eyes closed until I get to the comment form on this post or I just start crying all over again.


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