Hooks with a History - What the Hook is that?

  I was saving this for last, but I just can't keep it to myself anymore. Can you help me? I have something strange in my new "vintage" crochet hook collection... And I wish I could begin to tell you what it is. Is this a tool of some craft I don't know? A strangely-made knitting needle? A Medieval torture device? Well... No, of course not; it's plastic... But c'mon! What is it?

  Since I don't have much information for you, I'll just cover examples of how clueless I am: Each set of my photos gets their own folder, so I can keep track of all my pictures. This thing is in the folder "weird stick thing". I considered naming it "plastic knitting needle", but it can't possibly be a knitting needle. No way. Who would make a knitting needle with raised spots and a sharp seam that would catch the yarn? Please tell me that I'm right, and this isn't really a knitting needle.

  I Google searched "vintage plastic knitting needle", "plastic yarn tool", "vintage/plastic needlework tools", and "plastic craft stick", all with no success. One more obnoxious search of "Weird Stick Thing" taught me that apparently, quite a few people stick weird things where they shouldn't go. I wound up on that part of the internet that could scar you for life... How in the world do you get the curved end of a cane stuck... Forget it. Why would you put a cell phone... Really? Are you expecting an intergalactic call from Uranus? And salad tongs? SERIOUSLY?! Know what? Never mind. Some people just ain't right. And that was just the top of the first Google Images page. I'm not looking anymore. If I'm going to retain any faith in humanity, I just can't look anymore.


  So, I further contemplated the purpose of Weird Stick Thing while I detoxed with videos of cute kitties. Could it be some sort of yarn needle? Probably not, because again: Bumps that catch the yarn! These raised spots appear to be leftover from the mold during manufacturing. Plus, what kind of needle doesn't have an eye? This has a knob at the end, like a knitting needle.

  Weird Stick Thing has a really sharp point, which may not be how it was created. The point is slightly bent and there's a burr on it, leading me to think this could be a broken... Something. But what? It really bears the appearance of a knitting needle... But, the bumps! What is this thing?

  I wanted so badly to discover its purpose; to be able to present you all with a "look at what I found" post. I have exhausted myself more than I care to. I give up on this one. Anybody have the answer? Is it a poorly-made knitting needle? A broken "something"? A nose picker? WHAT IS IT? If the answer is obvious and I'm just clueless, then feel free to get a laugh. Just please tell me what the hook this thing is already!


*An afterthought... I'm already receiving so much help on social media, but we still haven't figured it out. I forgot to include some helpful information: It's 5" (12.5 cm) long, and measures in a knitting gauge as a size 4, or 3.5 MM. But... The bumps only let it go halfway into the knitting gauge. You have to go the next size up for the "tool" to go all the way through.

Happy... Well now... I always say "Happy Crocheting". But I don't know what this thing is for, so...

Happy... Something!