Monday, August 31, 2015

Microsoft Has Me on My Knees

Hi, everybody!


Let's have one more smiley-face, shall we?


  This is my attempt at distracting myself from possible thoughts of murder. (LOL... Please don't call the cops, I won't actually kill anybody.) Today, you'll get to see a very angry side of me. I'm even going to do that one thing I promised to never do - use profanity. Mild profanity that might not be considered profanity at all to some, but more than others care to read, so I apologize in advance.


  Ooo, that feels better. Can I say it again? I'm sooooooo pissed off! Can I put it in red? I'm sooooooooo pissed off! I no longer have access to the blog through a pc. I no longer access to the photos of my W.I.P.'s that were meant for the blog. I no longer have access to my editing software for the photos I might take for future use. And I no longer have a working pc, period.

  Please, excuse me again while I yell a bit: MICROSOFT, YOU LIE! That notice that keeps popping up telling me my pc is ready for Windows 10 IS A LIE! No, it's not ready! I had to find that out from Microsoft Support after I tried to upgrade and it killed my pc!

  I do, however, now have a very expensive set of blinking Christmas lights. And a headache. And an almost uncontrollable desire to take up smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. And maybe do some drinking. And ANYTHING that's going to take my mind off the fact that MICROSOFT, YOU LIED TO ME!

  I really hate being lied to. It's my # 1 pet peeve. I would rather hear the harsh, horrible truth than be lied to. Because in the end, lies hurt more than some not-so-pretty honesty. So MICROSOFT, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?

Now, let's move on to my fun with customer support:

Me: My pc does nothing but go from a half-background with unusable icons to a black screen. Blink, blink, blink... Flash, flash, flash...

Customer Support (CS): Restart your pc.

Me: I can't, because the power button is missing and you can't click on anything, anyway.

CS: Can you see the Power icon?

Me: *face-palm* No, there's no power icon, and I can't click on anything anyways!

CS: Try restarting your pc.

Me: F-words. (Not really. Much as I wanted to, I don't get that nasty. I stayed calm and explained the situation again. But on the inside, every four-letter word combination in the book. And I might have made up a few more.)

CS: Can you open the internet browser so we can gain remote access?


CS: Can we have the model of your pc to check if it was compatable with the upgrade?

Me: What do you mean "check"? The icon that keeps annoying the - - - - out of me told me my pc was "ready to upgrade!", so what do you mean "check"?!

CS: Some pc manufacturer's don't have their drivers ready for the upgrade.

  Let's make a long story shorter. No, my pc's manufacturer's drivers weren't ready for the upgrade. So why did Microsoft keeping telling me my pc was ready? Why didn't Microsoft tell me that when I had to "reserve my copy"? Why didn't they tell me that when I had to "schedule my upgrade"? Let's continue with "fun with customer support":

CS: You'll have to access another pc to download the software and reinstall.

Me: I don't have access to another pc.

CS: Can you access another pc?

Me: *Open barrel, insert shell, snap it shut and cock the hammer...*

  They told me to try downloading the file on this stupid tablet, even though it needs 20 GB and the tablet has a total of 32. They told me it would take about an hour to download, and then I'd need to connect to the computer through USB. I asked them how downloading Windows 10 to put on the pc was going to fix the pc, when the pc isn't ready for the upgrade?

  They told me to just try it. And then I lost connection with customer service, and when I opened the page again, I was now # 29 in line. I made it to # 25 before AN ERROR OCCURRED. Shortly after that, the download failed.

I've had an unopened bottle of some kind of liquor - I think it's bourbon - in my cabinet for 4 years. I considered opening it at 7:15 in the morning. 

  So Microsoft now has me on my knees. Literally. I had to write this post while kneeling on the floor in front of this tablet, because the battery is only good for about an hour, and the power cord is only 24" long. And as I remain on my knees with customer support, I see my future slipping away.

  There's no way around it. I have to take the pc in to get it repaired. That means spend money. And ya'll want to know something I've been keeping secret? I'm getting married. Well, I was getting married. AFTER 10 YEARS OF BEING ENGAGED, I WAS FINALLY SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED. 10. Freaking. Years. But I need to work to make money; I need the pc to work. I have to spend my getting-married money to fix the pc. After 10 FREAKING YEARS of being engaged and either not being able to save up enough money to get married or him backing out again, we were finally just going to have a quiet ceremony. Not even a dress or flowers. No bridesmaids. No reception. Just a nice, quiet ceremony so he could make me an "honest woman" after 10 FREAKING YEARS. Microsoft, I am soooo pissed off, and I really hate you right now. The support page crashed again. I'm # 58 now. 

I usually close with "Happy Crocheting". I still wish that - or happy "whatever it is you do" - for you today. No crocheting for me, though. I think I'm just gonna go cry for a little while. Why did I buy all that yarn to crochet for charity when I could have been using it to get married? I'm afraid I'll have to scrap the free pattterns for the Scarf of the Month and start selling some stuff.

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