Tuesday, October 6, 2015

A Last Minute WIP

  Four days. I have four days until I get married. After The Microsoft Bungle made me blow my "wedding" budget, I scrambled to figure something out. I wasn't planning on wearing a traditional wedding dress, and I was even toying with the thought of wearing pants and boots. I love pants and boots. Big, black boots with grommets, laces, and maybe even some metal spikes. Gimme a spiked collar to go with that. That's what I'm comfortable in. The Other Half said he just wants me to be comfortable...

crochet, shawlette, WIP

  But he kinda frowned upon spikes. He's a redneck-ish simple guy, and I blast heavy metal. Great match. Anyway, we were out shopping and I was just making a joke about a dress. That's when I found out he did seem to like the idea of me in something other than metal gear (or my daily rubber boots around the yard). Okay, so here I go, completely out of my comfort zone:

crochet, dress, wedding,

(That wall is compliments of the dog, by the way. After he ripped out two sheets of drywall right after we replaced it [because he ripped it out the first time], I stopped fixing stuff. Now that he's grown up, this pic makes me think I need to get back to it. Maybe that's what we can do on our 'honeymoon', lol.)

  I found a dress at Ross for under $20. I hate it. In defense of the dress, I hate every dress. Or maybe I just hate me in a dress. Either way, I tried it on and hated it. When I brought it back out so quickly, the employee back in the fitting room asked me why I didn't like it. I told her I just don't wear dresses. "I'll be more comfortable in pants", I told her. She asked me what it was for. I only said "a wedding". She asked me who's wedding, and what's the attire? "My wedding", I said, and she went all "Mom" on me.

  The Other Half was standing to the side, waiting. She asks me "Is this the guy?", "Yeah" I reply. She turns to the Other Half and says "What's the matter with you? You can't let her get married in pants! It's her special day!", and I almost expected her to give him a little slap. This leaves me a bit confused, since I'm the one that wants to wear pants. Oh well. She made me go try the dress on again and come back out in it. That's when I almost lost it.

  I really hate attracting the attention of people I don't know. I do my best to avoid conversations. And especially when it comes to social situations, I'm not very feminine. Let's have a beer and a spitting contest. I'll be comfortable. Let's talk about who's got more torque and better gearing. Got that. I have no idea what to do when the fitting room lady and two other ladies I don't know start spewing about how beautiful I look in a dress.

"Oh, how pretty!" says fitting room lady.

Unknown lady that I presume is waiting for the cackling teenage girls in the fitting room: "Oh, that fits you so perfectly!"

Unknown lady just walking by who has to stop to say: "Oh, that's beautiful!"

Unknown lady #1: "What's it for?"

By the way, I'm just akwardly standing there, looking at the guy behind her as he rolls his eyes; almost laughing, because I feel like doing the same...

Fitting room lady: "She's getting married!"

Unknown lady #2: "You're getting married?! You're not wearing a wedding dress?!"

(Finally) Me: "No, it's not really a "real" wedding, so there's no need for a wedding dress. I think I'm just gonna wear pants."

All three: "PANTS?!"

Lady #2: "No, you're not wearing pants. You're wearing that dress. It's perfect. Get it."

Lady #1: "It's beautiful. You look beautiful in it. Get the dress. Wear it."

Fitting room lady: "She's geting the dress. She has to." Turns to the Other Half: "If you don't make her wear that dress, I will.

Me in between all those comments: "But... but... but..." I look up and see a bunch of other people peeking from around the aisles, women all smiling at me, some nodding approval and a few others murmuring about how nice/pretty/beautiful I look. And then I started to cry, so I said "Okay", and went back into the fitting rooms before anybody saw.

  And that's how I got my "under $20 wedding dress". The dress I don't have shoes for. I was going to wear boots, but the Other Half says heels would be nicer. So I bought a pair of $30 heels, and I hated them with the dress. Those are getting returned, and I ordered a pair I found online - so cute, with pearls on the straps (barf). Now, I'm hoping they get here in time. I still need to get my hair cut (which I haven't done in about 7 years), and the Other Half wants me to get bangs (gulp). I'm also hoping to finish the accessory I decided to start six days before the wedding.

crochet, shoes, wedding

  I really don't like the neckline of the dress. It needs... Something. I have a neck like a deformed giraffe, and I think the high circular neckline makes me look more freakish than usual. I thought about jewelry, but I don't have anything that would look nice. We don't even have rings, so I'm not spending more money on something I don't need. I considered getting it altered. Yeah, right. That would cost more than the dress. So, what kind of accessory could I add to dress it up? A wedding shawl! Since I'm so stressed that I really don't know if I want to get married anymore, let's make it a "prayer" shawl. And all the gushing from the ladies made me think maybe I should have something special, so I'm gonna make it with my odd-sized antique steel hook that belonged to Great-Grandma. That will make it extra-special for me. And yes, it's black, because that's my favorite color.

crochet, WIP, wedding, shawlette

   I'm short on time, so it will have to be a shawlette. Made in black crochet thread, I might go blind before the wedding. Should I go as far as adding beads? We'll see if I have time. The one thing I can tell you is: I'm not gonna get it done if I continue to sit here typing! Ya'll might not see me for the rest of the week. If you don't, then you know it's not done. If you do, then I'll probably be sharing pictures! And by the way: I was told by my "bridesmaid" who is a dude, that I need flowers. I need flowers?

Happy Crocheting!
Oh, yeah... You know there will be a pattern, too!

crochet, pattern, WIP, wedding, shawlette

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Pay Attention!

  I was originally going to title this post "Too Many WIP's and Not Enough Brains", but I decided that was a bit lengthy. Plus, how can you have too many WIP's? It's a lot like yarn - You know you don't really need all that, but you just... can't... help it!

crochet, mandala, WIP

  So, this week I might have given myself a lesson in why you can have too many WIP's... Or, you at least why I should learn to pay lots and lots of attention! In a notebook, I keep track of (almost) every project I'm working on. I write down the yarn, the hook, and record any special stitches or notes as I go. (That's all part of writing a pattern anyway.) Some patterns keep me glued to my notebook as I work. Others are simple repetitive designs that I can pick back up without a glance at my book. Yeah... Maybe I should have consulted that book...

crochet, mandala, WIP

  It doesn't take an advanced crocheter to see that the two hooks pictured are very different in size. So, what in the world was I thinking when I picked up the large hook to continue the project that's being worked with a H/8 - 5.00MM? I wasn't thinking. I'm exhausted. I'm stressed. And it made me mess up again. The entire time I was adding six inches to the design, my stitch count wasn't coming out right. When working a flat piece in the round, you should typically increase by the same number of stitches each round. My number wasn't increasing properly, but I continued working anyway.

  Now, I'm no dummy. I should have known better. But I have a bad habit. A long time ago, somebody robbed me of my ability to have confidence in anything I do. Even when I know my decision is right, there's still a voice inside screaming "How stupid are you? I can't believe how dumb you are! You're an idiot - No wonder you can't do anything right!"... So I've developed an even worse habit of automatically ignoring that voice. Although that voice really needs to shut up, maybe I should take its advice once in a while. My "Ignore the Voice" attitude lead me to keep working, when I should have stopped to take a second look. Instead, I had to unravel all this yarn:

crochet, mandala, WIP

  If this was any regular in-the-round pattern, I would have listened to the voice. This design is different. It tells a story as it's worked. In order to tell the story, I worked into previous rounds, above and below, and there's even a bit of "weaving". The stitch count strays from a normal in-the-round pattern, because there's extra stitches needed to work around other stitches. To keep the piece flat, I found I needed to tweak the stitch count when I made a round behind the work - only on some rounds and not for others. I usually rely on math to make sure my count is correct, but this design requires some guessing. I ignored the voice when it was screaming "You're wrong!", because it screamed that at me a few rounds ago. I ripped out two rounds because of that voice, when I had the pattern right all along.

  Math lets me tell that voice to "stick it", because the numbers are there in front of me. I like proof. Guesswork leaves me vulnerable to the constant nagging of my doubt. Why? Now there's a new voice saying "Omg, you're dumb sometimes", but this one means it in a nice way. Why, on round 15, would I already have the absolute certainty that this round will mess up what round 22 will be? Hello! I'm the one designing it! I can make round 22 whatever I want! If it doesn't work with round 15, just change it! (Duh!)

crochet, mandala, WIP

  So, yeah, I'm dumb sometimes. Dumb for listening to that stupid voice. I feel kinda dumb for picking up the wrong size hook, but I'll blame it on my fight with that voice and just get over it. Uncertainty makes us stress over the little things that don't really matter. Hesitation causes us to make errors that could be critical. Sometimes we need to second guess ourselves to ensure we don't make those big mistakes. There's a fine line between when we should listen to the voice of doubt and when we should ignore it. Let's just work on getting it to speak a little more politely and with a bit less criticism.

Happy Crocheting!  

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